Imposter Syndrome: Even Stephen King Felt Like a Fraud

“I had been playing with the idea of writing a little book about writing for a year or so but held back. What made me think I had anything worth saying?”

Sounds like something you might say? Or a friend or colleague, right?

Wrong.

Stephen King said this about his book “On Writing.” The same Stephen King that has written 66 novels, five non-fiction books and over 200 short stories.

Tom Hanks, Lady Gaga, Serena Williams, Kylie Minogue, David Attenborough and James Clear have all openly talked about having feelings of imposter syndrome.

This is a prime example of how imposter syndrome can chip away at our confidence.

Tom Hanks, Lady Gaga, Serena Williams, Kylie Minogue, David Attenborough and James Clear have all openly talked about having feelings of imposter syndrome. Imagine what the world would have missed out on if all of these people had allowed themselves to be consumed by self-doubt!

Great examples from Sarah Townsend during our webinar about imposter syndrome and confidence. Watch the replay in full here, it's free!

Be Yourself

My name is Emma and, in my twenties, I used to dress like someone much older in a bid to be taken more seriously.

The lovely Sarah Townsend admits she used to hide her quirks in an attempt to be seen as more “grown up” and “professional”.

We’ve both learnt over the years to embrace what makes us unique.

For me, that’s developing an approach to training and coaching that’s informal and collaborative. I like my sessions to be joyful and encourage playful curiosity from my delegates.

None of these things make us any less grown up or professional. But it does mean we’ve removed the oxygen gap that breeds imposter syndrome.

For Sarah, an ADHD diagnosis freed her up to drop the mask and be unapologetically herself in business.

None of these things make us any less grown up or professional. But it does mean we’ve removed the oxygen gap that breeds imposter syndrome. And that makes us more confident and secure in ourselves and our work.

What can you do to make yourself “more you” at work? Or have you had to hide aspects of yourself too?

Uh-Oh Meetings

Ever had an “uh-oh” moment in a meeting?

Everything is going quite well, you’re rattling through the agenda then a client or senior stakeholder throws a curveball: “Yes, yes, but what I really want to know is…”

Cue: headless chicken mode.

“Oh…er…um…well, the thing is…” Confused faces. Followed by endless rumination with yourself for days afterwards thinking of the things you should have said in the room.

Congratulations! You are completely normal.

The vast majority of people feel the same way when they’re put on the spot.

Feeling these feelings shows that you care. The more we normalise those emotions, the better we make each other feel.

So next time you come out of an “uh-oh” meeting, it’s ok to share the sense of panic you felt with your colleagues.

If you’re a leader, help your team to understand those feelings are normal too. You can work through them together so that you’re all slightly better prepared for the next “uh-oh” moment.

Managing physical symptoms of anxiety

Sarah and I had some great questions during our webinar on imposter syndrome and confidence.

• One was about how to manage the physical symptoms of nerves and anxiety, such as blushing and shaking, when presenting. And we had three tips, which I’m sharing here in case it helps others:
• Acceptance. I blush when I’m speaking and I spent years wearing a big scarf to try to cover it up. I suspect it had the opposite effect! I now accept it will happen and I won’t be able to stop it. I focus not on the colour of my face but on what I’m saying.
• Breathing. Both Sarah and I have worked on our breathing which is proven to reduce stress in our bodies. Box breathing is a great place to start.
• Grounding. It’s tempting to try to shrink into a chair and make yourself smaller but you will project greater confidence if you are standing with your weight evenly spread to ground yourself firmly into the floor. Sarah’s even invested in a sit/stand desk!

Smile file

Have you got a smile file? 😊📁 (AKA a boost bank)

It’s a place to store any little bits of positive feedback from others or even mood-boosting notes of your own.

It can be an email folder (which is what I use). But I like Sarah’s idea of simply creating a photo album on your phone in which to store screenshots of thank you notes, words of encouragement, reviews and recommendations.

Great for when you’re preparing for a review or appraisal meeting. But also good to have something to sneak a peek at when you’re having an “off” day.

Confidence comes from going outside comfort zone

PSA for anyone who needs to hear it: much of our confidence comes from going outside our comfort zone.

Richard Branson once said: “If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity but you are not sure you can do it, say yes, then learn how to do it later.”

Sarah suggested that you can feel the butterflies when doing something new and call them “anxiety” or “nerves”. Or you can reframe those feelings and call them “excitement”.

Then you can enjoy the buzz of accomplishment when you do the new thing you didn’t think you could do!

In training, I often work with people to discover where their limits are. This is important because going beyond the comfort zone does not automatically mean entering the panic zone where we can face paralysis and fear.

Confidence builds when we say yes to things that challenge us, not overwhelm us. The trick is spotting the opportunities that feel like a stretch, not a stress spiral.